Look at My Frog Now!!!

Thank God for my Indian friends. They have helped me to face life again. I hinted at a tragedy in my last post and this is it:

Look at my frog now!!!
And how, you ask, did this come about. And the answer is, I don't know for certain, but it happened shortly after someone, someone next door, bought one of these:

 For Heaven's sake!!! He was tearing up and down the lane in it like an idiot, wearing a hat like this:

What a nincompoop! What does think he's going to do in it? Pick up dolly birds?
And what's this really all about?!

It wouldn't be more clear if he wore sandwich-board with "Stand Clear, Mid-Life Crisis in Progress!!" painted on it!!

And while he's mincing about in his silly little sports car, trying to impress the widows of the parish, amphibians are dying!

What a selfish, selfish idiot you are, Cedric!!!

I Have Friends in India!!

As you may have noticed I have not kept up this blog. That's because of a terrible tragedy, of which more later, including recrimination and apportioning of blame!


It left me down in the dumps for months. Nothing could console me. I was inconsolable! But isn't it always the case, that when you're at your lowest ebb one little act of kindness can change everything!


And this message from my new friends (in India!) was all it took to put a spring in my step and convince me to return to world of public affairs. I have returned to the blogglesphere and am more determined than ever to expose evil and wrongdoing in all their manifestations, particularly with regard to careless driving and amphibian abuse.

So thank you Dupont Hydro Industries for rescuing me from the slough of despond into which I had fallen, though not with any of your wonderful hydraulic lifting equipment, except perhaps figuratively!!!

Animal Ranking Debacle!

Have you seen this website! It's a disgrace!

I logged on to it expecting some serious data analysis, a snapshot, if you like, of the nation's animal tastes. For crying out loud it's a dot co dot uk. Does that mean nothing these days? Once upon a time it was a guarantor of quality, reserved for high-minded, consequential matters.

I was hoping for some statistics, a survey testing the public's opinions and collating them to give a comprehensive league table of animal popularity. I would have disputed the findings, naturally, but this is no good. They're simply alphabeticised and the categories are all over the place. Why does 'fox terrier' have it's own group? It should go under dog!

Well, I shall be complaining to the regulating authorities, you mark my words!

In the interim I have decided to post my own top five animals starting with the best:

Number 1 - My Frog:

(see previous post)

Number 2 - Some Monkeys:

Number 3 - An Echidna:

Number 4 - This Dog:

Number 5 - Some More Monkeys

There! Isn't that better!!

Expressionist Compost Bin Triumph!

When I built my own compost bin Cedric said it was an abomination. He said it wasn't even straight!

Well what does he know! Its design was influenced by the German Expressionist films of Weine and Wegener. How could he not see this, the idiot!!






Then he said it wouldn't work because there was nowhere to get the compost out. Well he was right there. But now I've planted courgettes in it!!

Who's laughing now, Cedric! You idiot!!

I Have a Trolley Jack!

In the boot of my car!

I don't have to use one of those flexible, pressed steel, wind up affairs that the manufacturers supply - the ones that sink into the mud if you use them on soft ground. No. My trolley jack works anywhere.

And don't think I haven't got a handle. It's in a compartment!

It's been in the boot of several cars, as well. You see, I've had it twenty years. That means that even if you have a trolley jack in the boot of your car - I invented it!!

Look at My Frog!

It's better than yours!!