Animal Ranking Debacle!

Have you seen this website! It's a disgrace!

I logged on to it expecting some serious data analysis, a snapshot, if you like, of the nation's animal tastes. For crying out loud it's a dot co dot uk. Does that mean nothing these days? Once upon a time it was a guarantor of quality, reserved for high-minded, consequential matters.

I was hoping for some statistics, a survey testing the public's opinions and collating them to give a comprehensive league table of animal popularity. I would have disputed the findings, naturally, but this is no good. They're simply alphabeticised and the categories are all over the place. Why does 'fox terrier' have it's own group? It should go under dog!

Well, I shall be complaining to the regulating authorities, you mark my words!

In the interim I have decided to post my own top five animals starting with the best:

Number 1 - My Frog:

(see previous post)

Number 2 - Some Monkeys:

Number 3 - An Echidna:

Number 4 - This Dog:

Number 5 - Some More Monkeys

There! Isn't that better!!

Expressionist Compost Bin Triumph!

When I built my own compost bin Cedric said it was an abomination. He said it wasn't even straight!

Well what does he know! Its design was influenced by the German Expressionist films of Weine and Wegener. How could he not see this, the idiot!!






Then he said it wouldn't work because there was nowhere to get the compost out. Well he was right there. But now I've planted courgettes in it!!

Who's laughing now, Cedric! You idiot!!

I Have a Trolley Jack!

In the boot of my car!

I don't have to use one of those flexible, pressed steel, wind up affairs that the manufacturers supply - the ones that sink into the mud if you use them on soft ground. No. My trolley jack works anywhere.

And don't think I haven't got a handle. It's in a compartment!

It's been in the boot of several cars, as well. You see, I've had it twenty years. That means that even if you have a trolley jack in the boot of your car - I invented it!!

Look at My Frog!

It's better than yours!!